yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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