Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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