Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
