Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
