It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
