She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
