he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the day after is always just damage control
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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