Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
