Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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