i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
