Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
