508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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