He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
