hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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