Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
