omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
