I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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