he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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