Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
