I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
