Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
