if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
