Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
