i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
