i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
