Even the bartender felt bad for me
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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