Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
