just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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