Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
