The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
