do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
