My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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