C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
