so explain again why im purple
no
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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