And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
