And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
