i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize