Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
