Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You can't just leave with hair like that
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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