he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
