toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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