There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize