I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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