hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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