the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
