Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
