May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
