Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
