bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He did a backflip because drugs
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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