I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize