So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
