Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
