Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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