whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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