some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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