Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
