My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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