I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize