hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
