What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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