I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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