Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
