windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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