covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
