apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
