I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
