She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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