I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
