I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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