I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
