so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
you made out with another girl for some wings
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
