you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
